


Not Quite There but Close Enough

by TimelessWriting



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: (all those aromantic tags are for Abe sorry yall), Abe contemplates the meaning of life, Aromantic Character, Demiromantic Character, Friends to Lovers, Greyromantic Character, Love Confessions, M/M, Oofuri Xmas 2k16, Pining, What Is Love Anyways, idk what else to tag this as, or love, same difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimelessWriting/pseuds/TimelessWriting
Summary: There are some things in life that just can't quite be described with words. One of those things just so happens to be Abe's feelings for Mihashi.





	

**Author's Note:**

> aka I projected the fuck onto Abe sorry yall
> 
> ANYWAYS this is for The___CC on twitter, so I hope you like it! I wasn't quite sure what exactly you wanted for AbeMiha and I haven't written them for a while, so sorry if this isn't up to your standards. I also apologize that it's a little late (hey it's still christmas here lmao), my computer wouldn't boot up OTL I hope you had a great weekend and a happy holiday!
> 
> Shoutout to Nie who unknowingly helped me out with this by listening to my relationship whining OTL They're @nieniekoto on twitter and tumblr and yall should follow them bc they're hella cute and an amazing artist!!

There are some things, Abe decided one day, that can't be named. Things that transcend languages, that are such abstract concepts that it's impossible to convey via words.

Abe can't help but think that this is one of them. It's a feeling--he’s noticed that these things are often emotions--and it's a feeling he's felt for a while now. It's confusing, leaving him stumbling around for hours grasping at strings in hopes that somehow _maybe_ he’d be able to figure it out, to put a name to it.

He’d been trying for two years, and had yet to figure it out.

Sometimes Abe liked to think it was love, that what he felt for Mihashi was something that could be described as romantic love, but he didn’t think it was something that simple. Love was a convenient word to use, but at the end of the day just didn’t feel right to him. His feelings towards Mihashi weren’t something so simple and easy to understand. That was something he had come to understand over the years.

The only one out of his friends who seemed to really understand his plight was Sakaeguchi, ever observant and understanding.

“So, you can’t decide what you feel and everyone keeps telling you it’s love, but you don’t feel comfortable claiming it as just that? Is that right?” Sakaeguchi looked to him for confirmation, swirling the hot cocoa around in his mug. His focus was solely on Abe despite all the hustle and bustle of the lunchtime rush in the cafe, and under any other circumstances Abe would have felt unnerved. However, with all the uncertainty and lack of understanding from everyone else in his life, what normally would have left him shifting in his chair made him feel relieved and comforted.

He nodded, and Sakaeguchi hummed as he took a sip of his rapidly cooling drink. Abe’s own drink sat abandoned to the side, his nerves making even his favorite drink sound unappealing.

“Okay then,” Sakaeguchi started. “Let’s start like this. You said you didn’t know what to call this feeling, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know _what_ you’re feeling. So what do you know for sure?”

Abe shrugged.

“I dunno. I just care about him a lot? I’ve never cared about someone this strongly before. He’s important to me.”

Sakaeguchi was silent.

“How long?” He asked.

“Huh?”

“How long have you felt this way?

Abe tried to think back, memories of when he first met the nervous wreck that was first year Mihashi up until now, as they played baseball for different universities yet still kept in contact and met up as often as possible. “Our third year. It wasn’t like this during our first and second year.”

Sakaeguchi nodded along again and took another sip of his drink.

“Makes sense. Get to know him for a year or two…” He trailed off, looking thoughtful with his mug still pressed lightly against his bottom lip. Abe didn’t dare say anything and risk breaking Sakaeguchi’s train of thought, and instead forced himself to chug half of his now lukewarm coffee. His nose scrunched up in disgust as he swallowed.

“Are you happy just being friends with him?” Sakaeguchi blurted out suddenly, and Abe jerked, startled. His coffee sloshed up to the edge of the cup, and would have dripped over the edge and all over his pants if he hadn’t hurriedly placed it onto the table for it to puddle under the mug.

“I… think? I’m not sure,” He admitted, absentmindedly wiping up his mess as he thought about how to word his response. “If Mihashi didn’t like me back, I would be okay with staying as friends.”

“But if he did, you would want a relationship with him?”

He thought about it a moment, leaning back in his chair. “I guess.”

Sakaeguchi raised an eyebrow and leaned forward to stare at Abe. “You guess?”

Abe shrugged, arms crossed over his chest as he looked away stare at the cafe around them.

“It… sounds nice.” he eventually forced out, looking back to Sakaeguchi. “but I don’t want to do anything if I don’t know for sure though. It’s not fair to Mihashi.”

“Here’s how I see it. You have extremely strong emotions for Mihashi, but they’re strong enough and abstract enough for you to feel like the term “romantic love” doesn’t quite fit. It doesn’t really describe what you feel to its full extent, but you feel for the most part that your feelings are much stronger than those of just friends. You like the idea of a relationship with Mihashi… Correct?” He paused, looking to Abe’s eyes for confirmation. When he received a nod, he continued. “I think you should go for it. You obviously care for him to a large extent and he's important to you. If you care for him, then you'll never do him wrong. You should confess if it's something you think you want. Do you?”

“... Yeah.”

Sakaeguchi smiled. “Then I think you can figure out the rest on your own. Think about it, yeah? I gotta go get ready for my next class. I'll see you later?”

Abe stood up with him, hands in his pockets as they walked to the door together.

“Yeah,” He said. “Thanks.”

Sakaeguchi didn't have to ask what for. He patted him on the shoulder with a grin, quick to reassure before they parted, “That's what friends are for!”

* * *

 

Later that day he got a text from Abe that simply read “I’ll do it” with no further explanation. It was okay though, because Sakaeguchi didn't need it.

Abe’s phone vibrated only a few seconds after his message had been sent, dancing around on the desk where it had sat. A quick glance immediately told him it was from who he thought it was, and upon opening it, it simply read “good luck”.

* * *

 

The day wasn't particularly warm, temperatures just low enough to make it chilly with the added effect of a winter breeze. Even Abe, who didn't get cold very easily, had picked up a sweater after seeing the weather report that morning (even if it was just to make sure he didn't get too sick to practice). So when Mihashi, the one who got the coldest easiest out of all of them, showed up in only a long sleeve and pants, Abe wasn't very pleased.

“Where's your jacket?” He all but demanded, receiving only a guilty look in return. “What if you get sick and have to miss practice? God knows I won't be able to trust Tajima to keep you resting.”

“Sorry, Abe-kun,” Mihashi apologized, looking sheepish as he clutched at his satchel. “I was excited to see you again and forgot it.”

Abe heaved an exasperated sigh, already tugging off his jacket.

“Here, take mine,” He insisted, leaving no room for argument as he shoved it into Mihashi’s hands. “You'll get sick easier than I will. Be more careful.”

Mihashi beamed up at him, a smile spreading across his face as he eagerly thanked him.

“T-Thank you! Abe-kun is always looking out for me…” He murmured the last part to himself, grinning as he held the jacket to his chest.

Abe raised an eyebrow, but didn't push to ask what he said.

“Well? Hurry up before you catch a cold.”

“Y-Yes!”

With the jacket put on and them settled into a comfortable pace, the two of them walked side-by-side in a welcome silence. They were content just to be near each other, and Abe welcomed the chance to gather his thoughts.

“Mihashi.”

Mihashi jerked to a stop, looking back in surprise. Abe stood there with a solemn look on his face and for a moment the two of them just stared at each other, in the middle of the sidewalk just a few feet away from the entrance to a park.

“Mihashi, I like you.”

Mihashi’s eyes widened and he took a quick step back, squeezing his satchel’s strap. The look on his face felt like a shot to Abe’s heart.

“Wait!” He exclaimed, reaching out to grab Mihashi only to miss by a centimeter as Mihashi took another step back. “Listen to me!”

Mihashi eyed him cautiously, stance defensive. His words were careful as he asked, “Do you really like me…?”

Abe steeled himself and forced himself to answer, a show of emotion he wasn't used to putting on display this much.

“I do. You're… important to me. But I'm okay with being friends if you'd rather I not. I won't force you,” He managed to get out, body tense in preparation for the worst. If he was turned down, that was fine, but he’d rather they be able to stay friends at least.

“I… like Abe-kun too. As a friend.” Abe could almost feel the breath leave his chest and disappointment settle. Mihashi was quick to add on more, his face flushed red and avoiding all possible eye contact with Abe. “and… like _that._ Abe-kun is special.”

Abe could almost feel his eyes light up as he hesitantly asked, “So are we… dating now?”

He knew he could be oblivious, but he didn't think he was oblivious enough to misunderstand _that._ Better safe than sorry though.

Mihashi finally looked at him again and with flushed cheeks and a flustered smile, chirped, “... Yes!”

Abe scratched at the back of his head, looking away for a moment before tentatively offering out his hand.

“Should we… hold hands?”

Mihashi’s face lit up and with cheeks so red you would think he had painted them, hurriedly clasped Abe’s hand. It was rushed and abrupt, in a way only someone so excited and eager could pull off.

The two of them stood there in an awkward silence for a while, neither having the experience to know what to do next after that, or to shatter the silence. Neither of them ended up having to say anything in the end though, as Abe’s stomach did the job for them anyways. The two of them had been meeting up for lunch to begin with, but with the confession their plans had been all but momentarily forgotten.

Mihashi gasped and turned to Abe as he pointed a little farther down the street, nearly stumbling over his words as he rushed, “Tajima and I went there! It's really good! It’s Abe-kun’s favorites!”

Abe blinked in surprise, letting out a huff of surprise as the edges of his mouth curled up into a small smile. He squeezed Mihashi’s hand, almost not believing that all this was real--that he had actually confessed and was now dating Mihashi, the object of his obsession for the last two years. It was almost surreal.

“Okay,” He answered. “Let’s go try it. I trust you.”


End file.
